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I need help, but there's no one for me to call. And who would respond? I have done this to myself.There's a bed a few feet away, but I won't sleep in it. The thought of all the lost souls wasting their existence on that infested mattress saddens me. The prostitutes and their johns. The drunks pissing themselves. The addicts shooting their fix into their veins.It's not any belief that I'm better than them that makes me choose to not sleep there. No; I belong here. I am just as lost as any alcoholic, junkie, or whore who has ever stared at these same four walls.The reason I choose the floor is because I am alone.I wasn't always like I am now. I once believed in the faithful heart. I believed that I was a good man, a good husband. I believed that I loved.I believe none of those things now.I have been married for 10 years to the most wonderful woman I have ever known. Our life together had been good. She didn't deserve what I did to her.Up until three days ago I wouldn't have thought it. She was absolutely breath taking. I guess I had never really looked at Beth as a woman before, only as a sister. But here in the bathroom light, I really saw her for the first time. She was about 5’5” tall and weighed maybe 120 lbs. She had a tiny waist and full firm thighs. I am awful at breast size, but she was just right for her height. Then it dawned on me that we had been together twice and she had never removed her shirt. “I will call you later.”, she told me as she walked toward me. She bent over and kissed me. Not just a quick peck but a long lingering, deep kiss. Her tongue slid between my lips and quickly found mine. I reached up and pulled her close, returning the passion. Soon I felt myself stirring again. She broke the kiss and pulled away slowly.“We keep this up and I will be undressing again.” , she whispered to me. “That would be a good thing.”, I replied. She smiled and waved at me and walked out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the front door open and.
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